Woman Quits Social Media And Becomes Fortune Teller In Effort To Respond To Current Events Quicker.

By: Focks

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The online world was dealt a heavy blow yesterday when well known social media personality, Wendy Williamson, announced her retirement from publishing posts to pursue a different career path.

 

“Over the years I have gotten really good at posting my opinions on current events as soon as they happen. I have also developed the unique skill of knowing everything about all topics. With the marriage of these two gifts I have found that I have started commenting on events before they happen.”

 

When asked if she has ever been wrong with her lightning fast responses to happenings around the globe that may have not even come to fruition yet, she stated:

 

“Yes. It does happen from time to time, but my uncanny ability to find various articles in support of my stances and my unwavering belief in always being right changes the very narrative of the events in question, leading my followers to vehemently support me and my comments at all times.

 

We questioned Wendy on her new career path in Fortune Telling and why she decided to make such a dramatic shift.

 

“Believe it or not,I don’t consider it a career change as much as a career adaption.  Fortune telling and social activism are much more closely related than many would believe. One of the strengths of social activism is confirming and solidifying your opinions on a given position and then blindly applying those opinions to all future events that may fall, or appear to fall, somewhere in that initial category. Fortune telling is just a next generation version of this but takes out the need for a strong internet connection. I can write my fortunes days or even weeks in advance, high up in a mountain retreat, and then post them once I find an internet signal. As long as I develop my fortunes, and then opinions on those fortunes, before events happens, I will have beat all my competition in this truly remarkable time of instantaneous social media reaction.”

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