Well if you’ve made it this far you’re likely thinking of a scene on a beach with most likely the most awkward moment two people could ever have… and a jellyfish. Not going to find any such story here. As you’ll find out, this article came to pass as sort of a bet and the typical jellyfish scenario was not allowed. That was the number one rule of this so called bet as it were. Now let’s whiz on down the road and get on with it.
Reason 1: A Healthier Garden
I was challenged to write this article by my neighbor who is kind of like that guy from that Tim Allen show “Tool Time”. Always peaking his head over the fence and dishing out some mad wizdom… Wilson style. Side note Wilson was played by actor Earl Hindman who died in 2003 from lung cancer and if that fact breaks the 4th wall for you in disappointment you need a new hobby. Maybe try gardening! I did. That’s how we got to this point in fact; when my Wilson caught me one day peeing on my compost pile. After I explained to him why is when this article came to be my challenge. And before you think I’m just a hippy dippy nut job I challenge you to check the science. Pee has an abundance of nitrogen in it and when mixed with carbon (dried leaves for instance) in a balance ratio can really make for an active compost. Good compost goes on garden, garden grows vegetables, vegetables make you healthy and Bob’s your uncle.
Reason 2: Foot Stuff
Truly my foot was in my mouth when in defence of the above pee reason, I stated to Wilson, “There’s lots of things pee is good for.” In honesty I don’t really know whether or not this next reason is just an urban legend or not but when sharing a house with two dudes one year I discovered all of us were in the habit of peeing in the shower… on our feet. This was an individually concerted effort mind you, not a group event. How this fact came out I can’t quite recall but the reason was to prevent athlete’s foot. I vowed then, after the golden shower incident of 2008 to never look up the truth about this theory because I was understandably a bit grossed out. It was fine when it was just mine but when it was leaked that it was those two dudes too… I still don’t want to know the truth but I can say that we all thought it was a thing and none of us active athletes got the burn. I’m sure there will be a long stream of comments on this one.
Reason 3: Not a Jellyfish
But first, let’s take a moment and all imagine the most unlikely pair to be in the Jellyfish situation… Yikes! Too many competing theories, all of which leave me feeling enthused I don’t live near an ocean. Anywho… Fact of the matter is I don’t have a reason 3. Not without cheating and researching the topic further which was another of Wilson’s stipulations. But hey, atleast I left you with an unsettling image of one person urinating on another person’s jellyfish sting. Your Welcome… and PISS OFF WILSON! I’ve got to go see a man about a horse.